Eye contact is a funny thing. Sometimes it can be really beautiful, but other times it can be super uncomfortable. There is just something about it. The other day, I ran into one of the TOR sisters on campus. I don’t know this particular sister very well, I’m not even sure if she knows my name, but when she saw me she looked me in the eyes. It didn’t matter who I was, in that small moment, I was known and loved. All she did was look me in the eye.
Last night we had a mini women’s conference called, “Beloved” here at Franciscan. We heard a couple beautiful talks and then later in the evening we had a holy hour with Adoration. I was so excited for this time of prayer, but when Adoration finally came around, I quickly became frustrated. I was super distracted, couldn’t enter in, and then to add to my frustration, it seemed like everyone around me was having some beautiful and deep prayer experience. And so I did the only thing I know how to do in those moments; I started from the beginning and asked the Lord, “teach me how to pray.”
I heard Him say to my heart, “just look at Me.” And so I looked up at the monstrance, and this time, I saw Him. It still looked like a piece of bread in a pretty gold thing, but for the first time – maybe ever – I gazed deeply into Our Lord’s eyes, and I allowed Him to gaze deeply into mine. The difference this time, was I didn’t look away when it started to get uncomfortable. A few times I wanted to look away, but His soft voice, “just look at Me,” kept urging me on. We just sat there, gazing into each other’s eyes, as He brought healing and peace to my broken and wounded heart.
What I learned more deeply last night is that there is love, there is understanding, and there is mercy to be found in His gaze. Take the leap, and don’t look away.