I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time. What has the Lord been teaching me this summer? MERCY. But really. His mercy is so much more than I thought.
I’ve been going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation regularly for awhile, but often when I would examine my conscience I would just think quickly of the things I knew to be sins, confess those, receive mercy, and move on.
But the Lord wants me to see that there is so much MORE. At the beginning of the summer, I was trying to convince someone close to me to go to Reconciliation. I was telling them that the Lord just wants to love them and He wants to give healing where our hearts really need it. I was talking about how it’s a chance to really look at your heart and honestly see what you are choosing instead of the Lord, what is really keeping you from receiving His love, and then take it to Him so He can forgive you. But as I talked, a little flame was ignited in my own heart. In a very humbling moment, I realized that I had fallen into a lazy routine in preparing for Confession, but more than that I knew I wanted the deeper level of mercy and love that I had just been talking about.
And so I broke out of my routine, started to dig deeper into my heart, and went back to the Sacrament.
He didn’t leave me with my brokenness, but in that Confession that day, He loved me right where I needed Him the most, and He does this every single time. This has been rocking my world! His mercy is real. I’m learning anew that Reconciliation is not at all about checking anything off a list, but it’s about bringing my broken heart to the Healer who pours His love into those pieces of my heart that, having been broken through sin, are now open before Him through my vulnerability in the Sacrament.
I love Reconciliation because I love this mercy – this mercy that is not a reward for confessing well – but is a relationship with a God who loves me more than I can fathom. There is Someone who longs to go into the reality of the mess – the daily mess – my mess – and love me there.
The next time you go to Confession, I challenge you to dig deep. Be honest about what’s going on in your heart. Lose the routine and encounter the Person who is waiting with merciful, healing love, and who wants to be with you. We are broken humans, so show those wounds to the Healer. Show them to He who was whole, but who took on our brokenness so we would not be left alone in our pain. You are not too much for Him, He loves you.